The Mary Sue Crisis
by Shinobi Saru Corp
Summary: Tora's job is to go into fan fictions and kick out the Mary Sues that have begun infesting the stories. Unfortunately, this one is an especially foul one that requires special attention...


**Written by Tora**

* * *

It starts out with Amber. Amber Wolfs.

Her hair was gold coloured. It was soft and a beautiful gold colour. Her eyes were equally beautiful. She had rich green eyes, which sparkled when she smiled her dazzling smile. She had a soft oval shaped head and cherry shaped lips. Over all, she was tall and slender and very graceful.

She was also a half-blood. She was the 8th half-blood. The half-blood not mentioned in the prophecy. She was the Daughter of Poseidon. Chiron kept her hidden at camp. He knew if she was revealed, they'd have another Big Three on their hand, another chance that she might bring down Olympus or save Olympus.

But Amber was tired of being hidden. She was tired of being rejected, she needed to act, she needed to be someone special, and she needed to stowaway on the Argo Two.

So that's what Amber was doing. She was hiding in the Argo Two.

She looked around nervously. There was a commotion above. She wondered what was going on. Could it be a monster attack? Could it be the Titans returning?

Amber's heart pounded in her chest, her mysterious green eyes looked around nervously.

She thought she was going to die, when—BAM!

The door of the cellar flew open. Amber screamed as people started to rush in.

There were _9_ kids in total. Who was the 9th girl?! She couldn't be a half-blood!

She had dark brown hair, which flowed past her hips. Her eyes were hazel. The long lashes were covered with mascara. She had dark shadows under her eyes. This girl radiated power and death.

A girl with curly brown hair and chocolate coloured skin stormed towards Amber. She was so pretty, her eyes were so beautiful, like glass crystals.

She grabbed Amber's arm and pulled her up.

"Let me go!" Screamed Amber.

A boy with jet black hair and beautiful blue eyes glared at Amber. "Who are you?" He snarled at Amber.

"I'm Amber! Daughter of Poseidon! I'm the 8th half-blood in the prophecy!" Amber shouted, trying to struggle out of Hazel's grip.

"Oh really?" a boy said sarcastically. He had chocolate brown eyes and brown hair. _He looks adorable when he's frowning_, thought Amber, as she blushed scarlet. "Fancy that," He said looking at the dark brown headed girl beside him. "She too claims to be the 8th half-blood in the prophecy. Daughter of Hades."

A girl glared at Amber. She had stormy gray eyes and honey blond hair. "We have five other girls up on deck, claiming to be Daughter of Zeus, Daughter of Hades, Daughter of Poseidon, etc. They all claim to be the 8th half-blood. The prophecy only said _7_ half-bloods. Not 8!" She snapped.

"Why are they all girls is what I want to know," said another girl. She had beautiful darkish skin, dark powerful brown orbs, and choppy hair. Everyone knew her as the daughter of Aphrodite. It was Piper McLean.

"Why do they all have to be pretty?" Asked Leo.

"Knock it off, Leo," Hazel said.

"No, Leo's right. They all have this Barbie doll look. They all have perfect hair, beautiful figures, and beautiful eyes. What is going on?" Annabeth said. Her eyebrows were knitted together and her eyes seemed to grow darker.

"Let's talk about this on deck," Said Percy, Annabeth's boyfriend.

They marched upwards, with Amber in the front, so that way she couldn't bolt.

On deck, there were five girls all talking and arguing over one another.

"Okay, cut it out, Barbie Clones! This is my ship and I won't tolerate such talk about who's the 8th half-blood!" Shouted Leo.

"We were talking about who sang better! Justin Bieber or One Direction!" Shouted one girl angrily.

Another girl sobbed and said to Leo, "She said that Justin Bieber looked like a girl!" She said, pointing a finger at a girl with hot pink hair.

"I like One Republic myself," Said a quiet girl, with long blonde bangs.

"Shut up, Myra, we weren't talking about them!" Said Barbie Clone #1.

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Justin Bieber _does_ look like a girl, Barbie Clone #1!"

Barbie Clone #1 broke out into fresh tears. "But he's so hot! Of course, not as hot as you, Leo."

"What's up with all the Barbie clones liking Leo?" Frank Zhang asked.

"Hey, what can I say? I'm just a popular guy," Leo said, grinning a boastful grin, and running his fingers through his hair.

Percy smacked Leo on the back of the head. "Knock it off!" Percy said.

Amber glared at all the other girls. "You're all fake!" Amber declared.

"I'm Justin Bieber's secret girlfriend!" Snarled one girl.

"I'm Justin Bieber's secret girlfriend too!" Said Barbie Clone #1.

Amber glared at everyone. "Well I'm Agent Ward's secret girlfriend! And Loki's secret girlfriend!" Amber shouted triumphantly.

"_I'm _the first lady to get into Shinra!" Said an Asian girl.

"Hey! I was the first lady to get into Shinra!" Shouted the girl with hot pink hair.

"Okay, okay, I don't want to know who was the first girl to get into Sushi, all I want to know is what are you guys doing on my beautiful ship?!" Shouted Leo.

"I know the answer!" Said a timid girl. She had short choppy black hair and olive skin. She was wearing no makeup and no flashy clothes. She just had simple jeans and a loose Camp Half-blood shirt.

"Lemme guess, you're the Daughter of Zeus and you're the 8th half-blood," Jason Grace said, rolling his eyes skywards.

"Um… no…" The girl said.

"Then who are you?!" Everyone shouted at once.

The girl jumped, and said, "Yikes, I was just here to explain what was going on!"

"Tell us," Piper said, looking tired and worn out.

The girl scratched her nose and snorted, "Okay, my name is Tora. The Barbie clones you see are Mary Sue characters. That means that they pretty much have the perfect looks and the sad background and whatever. My job is to go to fan fiction to fan fiction, and tell the people there that they've been infected with Mary Sue characters. Mary Sue writers are the people who pretty much write themselves into the story."

"Are you written in?" Asked Percy.

"Yeah, but…"

"Then you're a Mary Sue writer. Get off my ship," Leo commanded.

"No, no! I'm not a Mary Sue writer! I'm telling you why you have this problem!"

"Why are all the Barbie clones in love with Leo?" Hazel demanded.

"I told you! I'm a popular guy!" Leo said, trying to convince Hazel.

Hazel didn't look convinced.

"Actually, he is a popular guy," Tora said, glancing at Leo, who did a fist pump of triumph. "Rick Riordan wrote Leo with a sad story and has him as the left out dude. And of course, Leo is _single. _Pretty much all the girl's love Leo. He's charming, smart, funny… oops, I totally went overboard… anyway, basically, from a fan girly view point, Leo is the prince charming that's single. So all the girls write down their dreams about falling in love with Leo on a fan fiction site." Tora said.

"Hey, I could live with that," Leo grinned.

"No, because the Mary Sue writers would twist your character. You would look like Leo, but you wouldn't _be_ Leo," Said Tora, trying to remain calm.

"Who's Rich Reardan?" Asked Leo curiously.

Tora blinked blankly. "Long story…"

"So… basically… you're inserting yourself into this story, just so you can tell us the reason why we're having this Mary Sue problem?" Annabeth said skeptically.

Tora nodded.

"How do we know that you're not going to end up falling in love with Leo?" Nico asked suspiciously.

"Because—" Tora hesitated. "Umm… because I'm a decent girl and would never Mary Sue myself into a story. Not to mention, I could never bring myself to change the story."

"You're doing it right now!" Piper snapped.

"I am not! I'm simply warning you about this problem! I've come to help! Then I'll leave and you guys will never know I came here!" Tora snapped back.

"Okay, how do I get all these girls off my ship? That includes you, Tofu." Leo asked in an annoyed voice.

"It's Tora."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!" Leo said rolling his eyes.

"Simple! We delete them!" Tora said, smiling a totally wicked grin.

Jason raised an eyebrow. "That didn't sound at all freaky."

"How do we delete them," Hazel asked carefully.

"Simple!" Tora repeated, still grinning evilly. She snapped her fingers and eight more girls appeared.

They looked like most of the Mary Sue characters, except about ten times less pretty. The girl with pink hair looked like another girl with pink hair, except the new girl with pink hair had bucked teeth and lazy eyes. There was one girl who even looked like Tora. Another girl looked like Amber, but she had zits scattered on her face. Her makeup was messily put on and her air was lumpy and bedraggled.

"Meet the writers of the—"

"OH MY GODS! IT'S LEO VALDEZ! TEAM LEO!" Shrieked the new girls.

"Leo, I have twenty posters of you!" "Leo, I dream about you!" "You are so cute!" "Leo, will you marry me?" "I'm your number one fan, hot stuff!"

Frank helped Tora up from off the ground. "You okay?" he asked kindly.

Tora wiped off the dust that was on her face. "Yeah, besides the fact that I was just trampled over by a herd of wild monkeys!"

"TORA, I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!" Shouted Leo angrily, from the sea of fan girls.

Tora shrugged and grinned weakly. "I told you, you wouldn't like it," Tora shouted back.

Then Tora noticed the girl who looked like herself. Tora's eyes bugged out and she quickly ran to the girl, who was squealing over Leo.

Tora grabbed her arm and dragged her to the side. "I did not mean to bring you along!" Tora snarled.

The other girl that looked like Tora looked confused. "But… this is like a dream… I don't want to go back to… wherever I came from!" She said mournfully.

"I didn't mean to bring you until _later_, Tora!" Tora shouted angrily, still holding onto the other girl's arm.

Percy crossed his eyes. "Whoa, there are _two_ of you guys?!" He asked in awe.

"Look, I'm already caught up in the excitement! Will you let me go?! They're all squealing over _my_ Leo! I have to save him!" The girl said. She clawed the air, trying to get to where Leo was. "Back off, ladies! He's mine!" She shouted angrily, still trying to get out of Tora's grasp.

Tora grinned an awkward silly grin. "Ahaha… lemme just…" Tora snapped her finger.

The other girl vanished.

"Who was she?" Hazel demanded.

"That was me… I mean, actual me," Tora said, avoiding eye contact.

"You were just… you were just as bad as the other girls! Get off Leo's ship!" Frank shouted angrily.

Tora raised her hands up in defense and squeaked, "No, listen! Things are reverse for me! I mean, I'm just a character! I'm not the real Tora! The real Tora is just as bad as the Mary Sue writers! She would _love_ to write this mushy romance, but her pride wouldn't let her! So she writes her pride down in her character."

Annabeth glared at me. "So… you're a fan fiction character, but you're not a Mary Sue fan fiction character… the real Tora who wrote you down, _would_ be a Mary Sue writer, if it wasn't for her pride… right?"

Tora nodded. "Congratulation. Sadly, now you've met the real Tora… I pretty much blew everything… Tora always says to me, there are some dreams you should never ever write down on paper and those dreams you should just keep to yourself."

Annabeth thought about it for a few minutes. Then she said, "So do you know what Tora's going to do with you?"

"She's going to have me stop this Mary Sue fan fiction stuff. This shouldn't be too hard. I've been in much worse situations…" Tora sighed.

"Oh?" Piper asked gently.

"I've had to help Shinra get rid of all the Mary Sue characters..." Tora rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out. "That's why most of these girls here are claiming to be a part of Shinra. They were kicked out of Shinra and then they were written into this story. I hate this job sometimes…"

Tora walked over to the sea of fan girls. "Okay, quiet down, ladies! Tora has important things to talk about!"

The girls didn't quiet down.

Tora put her hands on her hip and snarled, "Back away from the kid! Back away from the kid! Uh, girls? Step away? Get away? Lift your right foot up and put it behind you and then left your left food and put it behind you?"

They still didn't budge.

"LEOLEOLEOLEOLEO!" They all chanted.

A lion's roar cut through the air, making all the girls stop screaming over Leo. Tora froze, her blood turning cold.

Tora slowly looked behind. A huge lion sat there, glaring at the Mary Sue writers.

Then the lion slowly morphed into an Asian beefy kid.

Tora let out her breath and said, "Thanks, Frank."

Frank nodded.

Tora cleared her throat and said, "Okay… if you girls would please sit down by your fan fiction characters you created, that would be great."

With great reluctance, and another threat to have Frank eat them all, they all sat down by their Mary Sue characters.

Tora glanced nervously at Hazel, who nervously glanced at Annabeth, who nodded encouragingly at Tora. "Hello…" Tora murmured timidly. "Can I have a megaphone or something?"

Leo pulled a megaphone out of his tool belt and handed it to me. "Awesome," Tora said. Then she turned to the girls, who were all sitting down.

Tora cleared her voice and said, "Ahem… I would like to start—_LEO_!" Tora screamed angrily.

Leo was laughing hysterically. The megaphone was programed to sound like Darth Vader's voice when you spoke through it.

"S-sorry! I forgot I had that in there!" He laughed.

Tora turned to Leo, silencing him with an evil eye. "_Yeah right_! Well this is what I think of your precious megaphone!" Tora threw it hard onto the deck. The megaphone bounced a couple times, sending plastic bits here and there.

"Heyyy!" Protested Leo. "That took me a while to make!"

Tora turned angrily to the Mary Sue writers, who had all fake laughed along with Leo, who had genuinely been amused. "That's it! I'm not going to tolerate this any longer!"

Tora glared at Leo, who decided he'd go down deck to fetch something.

Then Tora turned to the silly girls, who were now wailing for Leo to come back. "If you _must_ know, Leo sucks his thumb at night time and uses a cleaning rag for his blankly," Tora said slowly. Everyone fell silent. "I saw him once fishing for _boogers_ in his nose! There was another time where he was scratching his armpit really hard, he looked like an ape. He must have _forgotten _to _shower_. Or maybe he had cut his armpit while shaving his armpit. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a… _abscess _under his armpit." Tora smile, as all the girls started to ewww and yuuuckkk and shriek with disgust.

Tora didn't mention that she just had come abroad about fifteen minutes ago. Not long enough to know if any those were true about Leo.

Leo came back on deck, looking clueless. "What's going on? Spider on my ship?"

The girls looked at Leo, with uncertain eyes. Frank and Percy were trying not to laugh, while the others kept serious faces.

Tora turned to Leo and gave him a happy smile. "Ohhh nothing, nothing at all!" Then she turned to the girls, who were still looking horrified at Leo. "Where was I? Oh yes, to the writers who wrote the Mary Sue characters, would you please delete your characters out of this book?"

All the girls sigh and groaned. "No! We can't desert Leo!" "Leo will be all alone!" "Leo is my boyfriend in my imagination! You can't expect me to just delete my dream that I wrote on paper!"

Tora chuckled. "Oh ho, ho, is that so? Well I'm expecting you to delete your stupid Mary Sue characters off the face of the earth! Okay, off the face of the internet…"

One of the girls groaned. She said, "But I was going to have my character break up with Leo and go for Nico!"

Nico's eyes went wide, and he took a couple steps back. "What did you say?"

The girl lazily held up a finger and scratched her nose with it. "Well, I was going to have my character be Mable Laureena di Angelo at the end of Hearts Content… my beautiful fan fiction…" She said dreamily.

The girl next to her, looked pretty much like her, except her face had a lot of makeup on, and she was skinnier. "I'm Mable Laureena di Angelo," She said gracefully.

Nico raised a nervous eyebrow. "Can we hurry and delete them?"

Tora smiled weakly. "Yeah, well, the only way we can delete them is to have the writers agree to delete them…"

"Well hurry and get negotiating!" Nico demanded.

"Right," Tora said, turning to the girls. "I'm imploring you guys to delete your characters. I mean, go ahead, and infect some other innocent story! All I'm going to do is go into that story and boot you out of that story!"

"I'm not budging unless Leo kisses me!" Said one girl.

"Oh yeah? Well I'm not budging until Leo agrees to _marry_ me!" Snapped another girl.

Tora rubbed the brim of her nose. "Guys… please…"

"I did not know I was _that_ popular with the ladies!" Leo said, grinning and wiggling his eyebrows.

Tora sharply turned to Leo and snarled, "_YOU_! Shut up!"

"Okay, okay!" Leo said defensively.

Tora went back to the girls. "So… none of you will move unless Leo gives you a kiss?"

The girls nodded. Well, only some did. The others decided they wouldn't move unless Leo married them.

"If you guys get off the ship… then I'll give you free tickets to Comic-Con…" Tora said.

A couple girls' eyes went wide. "No… way… you have tickets to Comic-Con?"

Tora smirked and said, "Yup."

The two girls looked at Leo and then at Tora. Then they stood up and said, "Fine."

Tora smiled. She fished through her pocket and pulled out two tickets to Comic-Con. The girls grabbed the tickets greedily.

One of the girls sadly looked at Leo and said, "Maybe some other time, cute guy."

"Uh, yeah," Leo said dumbly.

The girl, who didn't say anything, snapped her finger. She and one of the fan fiction characters vanished.

Then the other girl snapped her finger, also taking away a Mary Sue character.

Tora fist pump. Five left to go.

One of the girls fanned herself and said in an annoyed tone, "I cannot believe they chose Comic-Con over Leo… I am totally _not_ bud—"

"I've got two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!" Tora said, grinning, holding up two purple mashed up tickets.

The girl, who had been fanning herself, jumped up and screamed bloody murder. "I WANT THEM, I WANT THEM!"

Tora held them out of the girl's reach. "Only one ticket, if you leave with your character."

The girl began to bite her nails, looking at Leo to the tickets in Tora's hand.

She started to sweat, but she finally said, "Ticket!"

Tora smiled broadly, and then handed the ticket to the girl. She snatched the ticket and then snapped her finger, she and the Mary Sue character vanishing.

"Got one more!" Tora said, holding the last purple ticket in the air.

A girl with dark brown hair jumped up and screamed. "MINE!"

She dashed over to Tora, and grabbed the ticket out of her hand. She turned to Leo and winked, "Adios, muchacho!"

Leo said awkwardly, "Uh, adios…"

She snapped her finger and she and another girl vanished.

That left three more girls.

They all stared at me and then at Leo.

"One Direction tickets anyone?" Tora asked.

Two of the girls shot up. One was the girl with pink hair, and another was the Asian girl.

Tora handed the tickets to the girls, and they too snapped their fingers and left. Well, the pink haired girl had to kiss Leo on the cheek before leaving.

One girl left. (One writer left. We're only counting the writers and not their characters!)

Tora knew she was going to be the hardest to get rid of.

She had blond hair and green eyes. The girl next to her had a bored face. She was the girl that liked One Republic. Tora cursed. She knew she should have gotten One Republic tickets.

Tora had one last trick up her sleeve.

"Mumford & Sons ticket?" Tora asked timidly.

The girl shook her head.

Tora snarled, "_How_?! How can you reject a _Mumford & Sons _ticket?! Oh, well, I guess that means I can go with Ryuu…"

"Your boyfriend?" Asked Piper.

"_SISTER_." Corrected Tora. She looked a little offended that Piper thought that Ryuu was her boyfriend.

Piper shrugged and mumbled an apology.

"So… what do you want?" Tora asked the girl.

She was sitting cross legged, with her arms crossed as well. "Leo."

Tora glanced at Leo, who gave Tora a scared pleading look. "Leo's not an option," Tora said finally.

The girl glared at me.

"How about if I give you one of my best hammers? I've got lost!" Leo asked the girl.

The girl brightened up and said, "Really?!"

Leo grinned and said, "Sure!"

Leo summoned up a big hammer from his tool belt and handed it to the girl. The girl was grinning evilly as she looked at it.

She stood up, still grinning at the hammer in her hand.

Tora glanced nervously at the girl. "Leo, I don't think that was the best—AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The girl had taken two sharp steps towards Tora and then raised the hammer and hit Tora's foot with all her might.

Tora whimpered and then fell to the ground.

Before Leo could disarm the girl, who was now laughing maniacally, she snapped her finger and vanished.

Tora's eyes were closed tight and a sweat started to bead on her forehead.

"How bad is it?" Hazel asked, quickly keeling down to the floor.

Tora whimpered, "Uuuahhh…"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to arm her… I just… I just… ughhh!" Leo said aggravated with himself. He closed his eyes and madly ran his fingers through his messy hair.

"Quick! Get some ambrosia!" Annabeth shouted.

Leo summoned up ambrosia and handed it to Hazel.

Tears were coming down Tora's face. "I-I can't eat that!" Tora snapped. "I'm not a demigod!"

Annabeth bent down and said, "But you are just a character! If you aren't the real person, then it shouldn't hurt you! And if you die, you won't really die in actual life! Just… eat it!"

Hazel shoved the godly food into Tora's mouth.

Instantly, Tora felt better. Her foot still hurt, but the searing pain left. "Hey… I guess that stuff really does work…" Tora said, wiping away the tears from her face.

Tora stood up with the help of Jason and Piper. Tora marveled again, "Hey! I feel good!" She was about to start jumping, when Percy said, "Don't jump! It's not completely healed!"

"Well poo," Tora murmured the idea of jumping up and down, snuffed out.

Tora turned to everyone and smiled. "Well, I gotta go kick some more Mary Sue characters out of fan fictions!"

"How'd you get all those tickets?" Frank asked curiously.

Tora turned to Frank and chuckled, "Oh, when you're just a character, the writer can write whatever she wants the character to have!"

Tora walked over to where Leo was, who was still frowning and didn't look too pleased with himself. Tora thrust out her hand and said, "Thanks for helping me."

Leo looked at the hand and then looked at me. "For what? All I accomplished was to get you hurt," He said quietly.

Tora flicked him between the eyes. "Look, you can feel bad about hurting me, or you can shake my hand. C'mon, you got rid of the last Mary Sue writer," Tora said encouragingly.

Leo thought about it and then took Tora's hand and shook it heartily. "Will I see you again sometime?" He asked.

"Eh, probably not. Once I leave, you'll forget about everything about me and the Mary Sue writers," Tora said.

"Well then, I guess this is goodbye," Leo said slowly.

Tora nodded and said, "Yep. Goodbye. Oh wait, you may want to step back."

"Oh?"

"I have to bring the real Tora here in order to actually leave. She's a bit loopy over you. Hence the standing back part."

"Oh," Leo said. He took a couple steps backwards.

Tora snapped her fingers. The real Tora stood there, a little in a daze. Then she saw Leo and said, "You!"

Leo said, "Yeah, me!"

"Ready?" Real Tora said, turning to Tora.

Tora nodded. "Ready!"

Real Tora was about to snap her finger, when Tora said, "Oh, Leo, one last thing."

Leo looked inquisitively at Tora. "Oh?"

Tora took a couple steps towards Leo, looked deeply into his dark deep meaningful gorgeous brown eyes, grabbed his shirt and pulled him in close for a kiss on the mouth… (Small note from Tora: that part **DID NOT** happen. That was the real Tora being a Mary Sue writer, and having me kiss Leo goodbye… that's what you get when your Mary Sue writer is bored of writing your character with pride…)

"Sometimes life is more important than trying to find a girlfriend or trying to attract girls to you," Tora said wisely.

Leo glanced at the real Tora, who was smiling lazily at Leo. "Lesson learned," He said smiling.

Tora rolled her eyes and said, "Not that you'll listen or anything. Oh, and by the way, you're short."

"Hey!" Leo yelled indignantly, but he was grinning never the less.

"Auf Wiedersehen!" Tora said.

"Hasta la vista, baby!" Real Tora said enthusiastically.

"Adios, ladies!" Replied Leo.

Tora waved Leo goodbye, and with that, the real Tora snapped her fingers and they both vanished off the Argo Two.

* * *

NEXT WEEK… (A sequel to "The Mary Sue Crisis")

Tora gets a little in over her head, when she takes Leo to a fan fiction story called Hearts' Content. Whoever wrote that fan fiction, twisted it so terribly, Tora isn't sure if she can fix it. In "Leo and the Adventure he would forget" you find out that:

What happens when four powerful people are on the same ship together

What happens when Genesis Rhapsodos gets seasick

The secret of General Sephiroth's long hair

Why pestering a god about Manhattan is a bad idea

That you should never wear a red shirt

Hermione fails her transfiguration test

"Jacuzzi tubs are cool"

Justin Bieber got what he deserved

Leo can produce a gun from his tool belt

And what happens when a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent enters into the scene

This next story will have MAJOR crossovers, so if you don't know much about what I said above, then you may not have as much fun reading the next one. But if you were able to understand most of what I said above (about the 10 things you'd find out in the next story) then you're going to LOVE IT. Well… hopefully love it!

Until next time!


End file.
